Depressed...nope just a whiny baby.

I realize that I am a complete baby, but this sucks. I think its not knowing when I'm getting out that sucks so bad. Will I be here for 10 days or will I be here for another 3 weeks? 10 days I think I can handle...more than 10 days and I think I will climb out the window. They keep telling me to stay in the bed, but I just cant do it. Sitting in your bed all day is nasty! I feel gross! I start to feel bad for myself and then I think about the girls in the rooms next to me who are here for months. I cannot imagine. One girl is not allowed to get out of her bed and has to use the restroom in a bedpan. She is here for at least three months. Can you imagine?

John is being wonderful. He is taking care of the dogs, getting breakfast, lunch, and dinner on his own (the hospital food costs too much), getting all kinds of things that I want from home, and sleeping here. I'm going to try to convince him to sleep at home starting Sunday night, but I don't know if he will. He's almost as stubborn as me, but I appreciate it so much. I just don't want him to get exhausted and worn out before Jackson comes, and I want him to be able to work well at work next week.

It's kind of lonely here, so anyone who wants to come visit is welcome!

We've been talking in our homegroup lately about how I don't like to accept help from people. I like to do things on my own. I don't ever want to put people out. Boy is God teaching me a lesson. It's hard to let go and to not try to do it on my own... Guess I will be forced to allow people to do things for me.

On another note...I had to cancel John's 30th birthday party. I'm relieved and really sad about it at the same time. Relieved because I think it would have seriously stressed me out, but sad because he "deserves" to be celebrated. He is such a wonderful person and I'm so glad he was born 30 years ago. I will forever be grateful to his parents.

Tha'ts all I got for now. I'm sure I will be posting again soon. Erin, you've been asking me to update more often...you are gonna get tired of seeing updates:)