I really think that it was not until Guatemala that I decided that that is not what God wants for us. I don't think God is up in Heaven going "Yes! She got that house she has always wanted! I'm so proud of her!" or "Oh good. They have their three children and are living quite comfortably." I don't think there is anything wrong with having the basics (I LOVE the basics plus some more), but when did we, as Christians, decide that we could spend our money on whatever we wanted while there are children suffering and starving all over the world, when there are children down the street that don't have parents, when there are people in countries that have never heard the gospel? When did we decide that as long as we go to church, volunteer, and give our 10% that that is enough? When did we decide as a church and followers of Christ that that was ok? I don't see anywhere in the Bible that says that that is ok. I see Jesus commanding us to do His work. Plus, He is ALWAYS talking about money in the Bible and how we need to be careful with it. He blatantly states that its harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven than for a camel to enter through the eye of a needle! Why do we ignore this?
I know its not literally talking about an actual eye in a needle, but still...
Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am still at home on my butt. We have a nice apartment, and I do not want for anything. I don't have it all figured out, but for the first time in my life, I have decided that I only want to do what HE wants me to do. He has given me eternal life, why can't I offer him more than my 10%? Its His anyway.
So, I am confused. I am praying. I just want to do what He wants me to do. That's why I am constantly talking about Guatemala, or going back to school for a Bible degree, or adopting lots of kiddos. I am constantly talking about these things because for the first time in my life, I am actually trying to figure out what He wants. It is stressful. I am going to try not to go by my plan. I am going to try to put myself last and Him first. I am going to try to serve others. I know I will fail, but I at least want to try..... In conclusion: To the three people that read my blog, you are going to have to hear more and more about me being confused and trying to figure out what in the world I am supposed to do with my life because this is the first time I have ever actually wondered..... fun fun
6 comments:
Hey Sarah, it's Jill (that random girl who found you through Erin's blog and has become addicted to yours!).
As a fellow believer who is also really struggling with discerning the Lord's will for her life, I just wanted to mention a book that has really helped me in my praying about this stype of stuff. It is called 31 Days of Prayer by Ruth Meyers. I don't have the book with me at the moment but here is an exceprt from Day 4 that I had posted on my blog previously.
From Day 4, the "Prayer for Wisdom and Guidance": "I come to You now, asking You for greater wisdom and understanding. May I know what You want for me in the important decisions I'm facing. Give me on-the-spot wisdom in conversations and in immediate decisions. In such decisions, enable me to quickly commit them to you and trust You to help me say and do the right thing. Keep reminding me to do this, both at home and elsewhere so that I won't depend on my own understanding."
(totally read your blog. :D )
kelsey "formerly toney" macke.
:P
We will be praying with you every step of the way. Do not stress. How can God ignore your beautiful heart? He won't. It might not be in exactly the way that you want or think, but He will show you how to live completely for Him. And do not be discouraged in the times of silence; every season has a reason!
Wow, what a great (and convicting) post! I hope it's ok I stopped by...found your blog from a comment you left on another page and noticed you were a Dallas girl (which is where I'm from although we recently moved to Atlanta) so I wanted to say hi.
Little did I know how glad I would be to stumble upon your perspective! Hope its ok if I check back now and then!
you've already broke the 3 reader mark ... 4 comments! wahooo!
i know i'm not one to talk ... because i'm in a LOT of the same mess that you're in, but wanted to just give you one tidbit that's allowed me to remain sane during these times of big unknowns .... wisdom from some of my coaches/friends this past year ....
basically it's this .... lots of times we get caught up in the "what is God's will for my life" question. And really, we get it all wrong .... the Lord is saying "no no! Just go and be the will of ME to the WORLD."
we are called to be the will of god to the world. wherever. whatever.
still a huge call, but we don't have to freak out about the specifics as much. good stuff.
love you friend ... can't wait to see you walk this out.
You will figure it out Sarah! And You are helping little kids everyday in the meantime, who may not have even had a chance at life. You are awesome!!!
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